Reflecting myself

Hi everyone! How's life? So it has been a while since I last update. I dont know, I just feel like I lost all motivation that's left in me. I have so many things in mind. I'm currently on a holiday of 1 and a half month. I have about three weeks left before I start a new semester. Funny thing is that before this holiday, I kinda have everything sorted out, like what needs to be done but as soon as it started, hm I lost on track of time. Definitely, need to get back on the track. I'd say that this holiday is the most unproductive out of all. Things didnt go my way, I feel like life has been giving me lemons lately, tried to make it into sweet juice but it just didnt work for me. As time goes by, I feel like I'm losing myself. I used to lose myself but it was because of someone. This time, it felt worse because it was because of myself. Just imagine losing yourself because of you. My sister told me how much I have changed and that I'm starting to lose the old me. Ofc I didnt wanna lose whole of it, so I quickly reflect myself, figuring out where things went wrong. I learned so much lately and I'm super thankful. I know it's not perfect, or probably it will never be perfect but I'm trying so hard to make it feel right for me. I just wanna do things sincerely, just like how I used to. I guess so many unfortunate things happen to me that it made me feel sorta numb. Truthfully, deep inside, I'm just a really sad girl. I always told myself that I'm strong enough and I dont need anyone, but I was wrong. Yes, I need someone to let it all out. My sister has been a great help. She kept advising me to not lose myself. I no longer have my hopes high, I'm trying to keep them as low as possible. I still have that leap of faith in me, it's just not as strong as it used to be. But no worries, I'm working on it. Btw, one day left before my final result finally comes out. Ahhh I'm scared but hopefully, everything goes well. Stay safe guys! xoxo