I'm scared and confused

Hi. It has been a while since I last update. I know you guys miss me! No? okay then. Anyways, as you all know, I must have something to share because if I dont, you wont see my posts being updated here. I am honestly scared and confused. Sometimes I'm being myself and sometimes I feel lost. I always wonder what leads me to this. Why and how I turned out this way. Why cant I be like how I was before. Well, I major in accounting courses that include a bit of programming stuff. I have a sorta love-hate relationship with accounting. When I was back in high school, I was never really into accounting since I was taught in bahasa for that subject. It felt weird back then. I told mom I didnt want to have anything involved with accounting stuff. Little did I know that God knows better and who would've thought that I could major in a course that I've always tried to avoid. When I first embraced university life, my love for accounting has grown fonder. But as the time goes by, it kinda fades away. I wasnt really into accounting anymore. Especially in this final semester. I'm scared that I might not be able to get through this. Have you ever been in a situation where you tried your best but still you werent good enough? I hate that feeling. I admit my parents had quite high expectation on me. It burdens me having to try hard to please them, but it's my duty as a child to do better and better, even if I have to hurt myself, I would. For my parents. For my final semester, I'm sure everyone have felt this way before. I want to graduate on time so bad, and I'm crystal clear that my inner side knew what needed to be changed, but why am I not initiating anything? Why? Or am I just really tired? With my surroundings? Do I have to surround myself with new people? I realize that I've started to listen or trust on what others said more than what I really feel. That's not me, well at least that is not the old me. I miss the old me so bad :c The "weird, witty, annoying, confident, cheerful" me. How do I go back to that version of me? How do I be confident with myself again? What took my confidence away from me? How did I let it take that away from me? I have so many questions. It's like I no longer know who I really was or in what version since I always compared myself to the old me. But, I do believe that the only way to solve this problem is to create a better version of myself. Ofc, I am aware of that. But I dont have the urge to do that rn. I'm just really tired. I was a strong girl before, I didnt let things get in my way. I didnt let anything affects me emotionally. But now.., hm. I just need time, I guess. I'm scared if I ever let my parents down. They deserve nothing but the best from me. I just want them to always be proud of me. I dont want to disappoint them. But how do I tell them that I have lost interest in accounting? How do I say that I no longer want to further my studies in accounting courses? What if that is the only thing that will make them feel proud of me? Me, majoring in accounting courses. I feel bad. Can I pls major in programming courses or anything related to IT ? Hm. I just want myself to be happy, doing things I love but if I dont love what I'm doing, then how can I be happy? Hm.