One week left :c

Hi there! How's life? Mine was fine, not great but fine.. Anyways, so many things happened and I just cant take it anymore. I needed a break from everything and I did. I went 'MIA' for a week, taking a break from everything and it was worth it. While I was 'MIA', I realized a lot of things. I think a lot, I have so much in my thoughts. I think about future, my studies, thinking if I was a burden to anyone and etc. I feel terrible. When will I ever be good enough? I'm a bit depressed, I lose weight and was sick for almost every single night. I had the worst mental breakdown and no one was there to help me, but myself. It took me quite a while to get my shit together again. Overthinking was never healthy for anyone. I learned to not expect anything from a person, also accepting the fact that not everyone thinks the way I do. I think I'm getting better, maybe. I'm just sad that he's not always there when I needed him. Maybe I was never his priority. Hm, maybe. I know I should understand what he's going through instead of being selfish. I did try to make him feel better but I dont think he cares. Sometimes, I wish I can be as heartless as I was before. Maybe I'm just never gonna be good enough. Ugh, why am I doing this againnnnn? Where have all my positive vibes gone to..? I need them back. Oh and one week left before I finally start my final semester. Am I ready for this? Oh hell no. I need more holidays bcs I'm just a really really sad panda hm. I was never anyone's priority. Not even my parents hm :(